


let it pour

by clawsnbeak



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: (mild), (not graphic but mentioned), (teen and up for ronan swearing), Body Image, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Past Abuse, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-10
Updated: 2019-06-10
Packaged: 2020-04-24 05:18:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19166581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clawsnbeak/pseuds/clawsnbeak
Summary: "When they finally walked through the door, Ronan immediately pulled his tank top off, his chest glistening from the rain soaking through his clothes.Adam definitely did not stare."Basically: rain storm, some insecurities, bed sharing





	let it pour

**Author's Note:**

> a/n i haven't written fanfiction in about four years, this is my first ever pynch fic, and i am not a native english speaker so go easy on me please
> 
> i don't have a beta so all mistakes are my own

The windshield wipers turned off and the heavy raindrops immediately obscured their vision. Ronan looked sideways at Adam and he nodded. They threw the car doors of Ronan’s BMW open at the same time, slammed them close, and made a break for Adam’s shitty apartment above St. Agnes’ church. Adam’s hands were shaking from the cold, barely able to put the key in the lock and open the front door. 

 

When they finally walked through the door, Ronan immediately pulled his tank top off, his chest glistening from the rain soaking through his clothes. 

 

Adam definitely did not stare.

 

“I’ll find you something to wear,” Adam said, already walking to his makeshift closet. “You can take a shower if you want. You’re gonna catch a cold otherwise.” 

 

Ronan nodded and turned to the bathroom. Adam picked some clothes that would hopefully fit Ronan and handed it to him.

 

Adam sat down on the cold floor, opting to not use the bed when he was soaked and sighed. He could barely keep his eyes open and was chilled to the bone. Adam would love nothing more than to take a shower after Ronan was done, but that would mean bills that were too high at the end of the month and food he would have to skip because of it. The heating in his apartment was too expensive so it was always turned off and the wind gushing through poorly isolated walls made him shudder.

 

He realised he had been sitting on the floor for a while and pulled his shirt off. He spotted the warmest article of clothing he had, an xl-sized hoodie from a second-hand store that he wears to bed in the winter when his duvet isn’t enough, and walked towards it, not realising the water had stopped. 

 

The door suddenly opened and Adam froze, coming face to face with Ronan, clad in his clothes that were too tight for him, his muscles nearly ripping the tin t-shirt. To many, his eyes would’ve been unreadable but Adam saw something of admiration and concern in them. 

  
Ronan opened his mouth to say something but Adam unfroze and quickly pulled on the hoodie, hiding his body from Ronan. He rushed to his closet, slipping by Ronan and grabbed random sweatpants. 

 

“Parrish.”

 

Adam didn’t react and locked himself inside the bathroom. 

 

Ronan never meant to see him, not like this. It wasn’t like Adam had huge problems with his body but it was the end of the month and there just wasn’t enough money to buy nutritious food. Adam knew that Ronan had seen the bones sticking out, his ribs stark against his freckled skin, the scars left by his father. 

 

As of late, Adam was starting to realise that finding Ronan attractive is not a friendship thing. That the warmth he felt in his stomach when Ronan looked at him and the jump his heart gave when Ronan accidentally touched him weren’t coincidences. Maybe, somewhere, he did know that Ronan felt the same way. Though Adam was not convinced that he deserved the love that Ronan was ready to give him. It was too much, too fierce, burning him from the inside out. 

 

It wasn’t his to take.

 

And now Ronan knew what a part of him looked like. Broken and battered and not attractive like Ronan deserved.   
  
Ronan finally saw that Adam wasn’t enough. And it broke his heart.

 

When Adam finally emerged from the bathroom, sweatpants on underneath his huge hoodie, Ronan had already made his bed next to Adam’s mattress. They didn’t speak when Adam turned to his homework. They didn’t speak when Adam stretched his arm above his head and called it a night at 2 am. They didn’t speak when Adam took his place on his mattress, pulling the duvet over him.

 

It was after he turned off the light that was placed on a moving box behind his bed and lied down that Ronan had the courage to speak up.

 

“Are you okay?”

 

Maybe it was the comfort of the night, the fact that Adam was not able to see him speak. Maybe this made it all feel different, more dreamlike, a place where Ronan could be soft.

 

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Adam answered, turning to look at Ronan who was lying on his back. He could just make out the sharp cheekbones, accentuated by the shadows casting over his face, and the glistering of his eyes as it nervously flitted back and forth over Adam’s ceiling.

 

“Because you hid in the bathroom like some blushing virgin.” Ronan sneered, obviously giving Adam a chance to make a joke out of this. Back out. But Adam was done with that.

 

“What do you care anyway?” Adam asked. “Whether I’m okay or not? You’ve never made it your business so why now?”

 

“Never fucking mind, then.” Ronan’s mouth pulled into a sneer and he turned on his side, away from Adam, his shoulders tense.

 

Adam was silent for a moment, thinking, wondering how he could make this situation better. The fought, sure, they did it all the time, but Adam was tired and the cold hadn’t really seeped out of his bones yet and he was done with dancing around each other. He just wanted to hear Ronan say it, to make it true. It would take more than a few glances for Adam to truly believe he could be something that Ronan wanted.

 

“I hated the way you reacted to me,” Adam said honestly. “I don’t want you to see me half naked and to look at me like I’m some charity case.”

 

“You’re not a fucking charity case, Adam.”

 

Adam already had his mouth open to protest but closed it immediately when he heard his name. Adam. It didn’t sound the same when Ronan said it. His name didn’t sound like dirt and disappointment like when his father used to say it as he beat down on him. Not like Blue said it, with kindness but with pity as well. He didn’t say it like Gansey, as if he owned him. 

 

Ronan said it like he would say his prayers.

 

Ronan turned around and looked at him, his eyes locked in his. “I think you are attractive.”

 

Ronan doesn’t lie.

 

“I think you’re attractive too.”

 

Adam held his breath as Ronan moved closer, his mouth only a breath away. This is it, Adam thought, we’re finally gonna do this. Adam closed his eyes.

 

Ronan’s lips were tentative, barely touching his, as if he wasn’t sure he was allowed yet. Adam sighed and moved closer, deepening the kiss but remaining soft and chaste. However innocent and pure the kiss was, it still filled Adam’s stomach with almost unbearable heat, and when they pulled away, Adam was out of breath. They both were.

 

“Are we really doing this?” Adam asked, his heart beating fast in his chest. As soon as he asked the question he knew he wanted it, maybe too much.

 

“I’m down if you’re down,” Ronan replied, the edged of his mouth pulling his lips in a relieved smile. Adam had never seen Ronan look this soft around the edged.

 

“Ronan Lynch, ever the romantic.”

 

They smiled at each other for a moment before Adam spoke up again. “You can sleep next to me if you want, there is not much room, sorry, but-“

 

“For fuck's sake, Parrish, just move.” 

 

Ronan’s harsh words were a stark contrast against his shaking hands when he pulled the duvet back and slid in next to Adam. They lied next to each other awkwardly for a while before Adam gathered all of his courage and rested his head on Ronan’s chest.

  
Ronan’s hand immediately moved around his waist, his hands splayed over Adam’s ribs. For a second Adam was afraid of what Ronan felt; the person Adam really was beneath the strong exterior he tried to pull up every single day. But these feelings of worry and shame ebbed away when he felt Ronan kiss his forehead and his breathing to even out.

 

There were still things to talk about, whether they were together though Adam was fairly sure of it, remembering that Ronan doesn’t do casual, how they were going to tell the others, what this meant for their makeshift family they built. But right now, with Ronan’s hard chest underneath him, his heartbeat in Adam’s hearing ear, and the heat of his arm surrounding him, he let himself fall asleep.


End file.
